Am I doing enough?
I ask myself this question a lot.
Particularly after weeks like this past one when the day-job is needier than usual and for a good chunk of the work week, I’m getting home from work (or getting off work) a few minutes before I’m supposed to go to bed…
Well, it throws the schedule off a bit. I’m getting up a the wrong time and there’s more light coming through the windows than I’m used to. Worse, try as I might to convince myself that it’s ok and that I’m burning comp time, I can’t shake the “I’m Supposed to be at Work NOW!!!” feeling because that’s where I’m used to being at this time of the day.
And my writing productivity takes a hit.
Enter my inner heckler.
Only this time he’s not criticizing the work.
“Tiny gods, no!” He’ll say. “You only got a hundred and fifty words down. There’s barely anything there for me to READ, let alone point out just how much of that minuscule amount you’ve done is crap.”
Then he’ll join me at the top of the stairs as I head back down and whisper, “You’re not doing enough. A real writer, someone who’s serious and not just screwing around, would have done more.”
Yeah. He’s a bastard…
What he’s also doing is desperately tiptoeing around those hundred and fifty words. He wants me to lose the idea that even though I only got a hundred and fifty words down, they are still a hundred and fifty words more than I had when I started the day.
A win, even if it’s only by a single point, is still a win.
In fact–and forgive me for lapsing into a sports metaphor…it’s Super Bowl Sunday for gods’ sakes–it’s the close games that stick with you longer.
The times that it’s easy to wake up, and get the words down are important. The times when you nail your daily word count goal without breaking a sweat are important. Never forget that.
But…
The days when you struggle, but persevere are even more important. The mornings where you need three cups of coffee before you can remember how your pen works, but you still get something down are even more important. Even if it’s only a single word before you’re spent.
Those are the days where it counts.
To quote one of my favorite TV shows:
“We’re still flying.”
“That’s not much.”
“It’s enough.”
Time: I’m going to say about noon-ish
Music: Blind Guardian – The Ninth Wave